Q: Where are you from?
A: Honolulu, Hawaii.
Q: OOOOoooOOoooooo, what is it like being from Hawaii?
A: It is absolutely awful. It is just constantly snowing. I’ve had frostbite, like, 563 times.
Q: How many kids do you have?
A: Four. Three from my privates, one from another lady’s privates who was once married to the Man. Before. Before I was married to him. Not during.
Q: You seem like you’re a genius, are you a genius? I bet people ask you this ALL of the time.
A: Oh, well, yes I am asked that A LOT. Let’s put it this way, my IQ is higher than a pine tree but lower than the Empire State Building.
Q: Are you always in a cow onesie?
A: Every. Single. Second. Even in the shower.
Q: Do you like board games?
A: Do you like oxygen?
Q: Do you like farmer’s markets?
A: Do you like NOT being repeatedly stabbed?
Q: Do you like reading and dancing and singing karaoke?
A: Do you like NOT having your eye gouged out with a rusty screwdriver?
Q: Do you like hiking?
Receive my posts in your inbox! Hot damn!
POPULAR! Read by at least 2 or 3, maybe even 4 people!
- How To FAIL At The World Domination Summit 2,876 views | 90 comments
- I Love Cock 2,328 views | 36 comments
- Why I Do Not Drink Alcohol 1,327 views | 12 comments
- The Social Anxiety Serpent 907 views | 20 comments
- I Am Not Proud To Be Afraid Of These Things 856 views | 37 comments
- Poop Ninja (IBS. The struggle is real.) 779 views | 4 comments
- Regenerating Pie of Wondrousness 726 views | 38 comments
- GERMz 685 views | 15 comments
- Comic #1: Gluten Intolerance Isn’t Real 565 views | 0 comments
- My Relationship With Food 499 views | 11 comments
- The Time I Nearly Froze To Death (I Blame Hawaii) 483 views | 8 comments
- Conversations With The Man – “The Rinsing” 382 views | 0 comments
- Free-Range Fridays #4 345 views | 7 comments
- The Mouse Tragedy 341 views | 10 comments
- My Dream 340 views | 6 comments