Free-Range Fridays #6
I won a ticket to the World Domination Summit! It was awarded to me by Scott Dinsmore of Live Your Legend (one of my most favorite make-life-better blogs) and I am beyond excited. I have also just signed up for the WDS world record breaking attempt, which involves eating breakfast in bed with 599 other people. Which means—and this is the important part—I will be at the WDS in my COW ONESIE.
The lightweight one.
So I don’t perish in the heat of the Portland sun.
Anyone else heading to WDS in July? I would LOVE to connect with you. Maybe we can even have breakfast in the same bed! (I mean that in the least creepy way possible.)
Some of you more observant folk may have noticed there was no post this week. That does not mean I am not working on posts, it simply means I failed miserably to complete one.
The Man and I pretended we were young on Saturday evening and stayed out until 4am, which effectively destroyed us for the following three days. Apparently we are full-grown adults with small children and unforgiving sleep requirements, not college-aged singles. Lesson learned.
I also like to fault the pulled pork mini sandwich I consumed after church on Mother’s Day (no I am not an avid church goer by any means, we will discuss this later), which treated me as poorly as cake does and put me out of commission for several hours. I blame this awful decision on lack of sleep and celebration induced irrationality.
In addition to the late night and sandwich, I may have spent far too many hours researching the World Domination Summit because I find uncertainty excruciating. I also may have engaged in a lot of second-guessing, procrastinated in various ways, started several posts but finished NONE, and participated in an overzealous workout that left me half crippled. Squats are unkind.
That’s all of my excuses.
The silver lining is that I will theoretically leap into high gear and finally embrace the posting schedule I always intended to have which is… ambitious. And possibly unreasonable and unsustainable, but let’s find out!
WORDS! (Week 6/50)
Here for your nerdy pleasure are 5 of the top 250 tough/frequent SAT words according to Sparknotes.com. Thank you also to Merriam-Webster and Dictionary.com. If I have used any of the words incorrectly, please do correct me in the comments. I would like to think I’m not fostering improper usage. That would affect my delusion of being a world-changing word martyr.
Warning – This week’s sentences are a touch sexy and very much truthful; I suggest some of you go ahead and skip it. Especially if you are related to me.
COGENT: [koh-juh nt] (adj.)
1. clear and easy for the mind to accept and believe
AFTER DELIVERING a cogent description of how a vagina shoots babies out like a cannon, I thought I would be given a momentary respite in answering awkward questions. Alas, I should have known that after a moment of digesting the concept of super stretchy privates my ever-inquisitive five-year-old would pipe up and say “But then how does the baby GET IN?!!”
CONCOMITANT: [kon-kom-i-tuh nt] (adj.)
1. happening at the same time as something else
NO FELLOW should have to experience the concomitant sensations of climax and his two-year-old daughter grabbing his ankle. It still haunts The Man to this day.
CONFLAGRATION: [kon-fluh-grey-shuh n] (n.)
1. a large destructive fire
2. a war or conflict
DUE TO our vastly differing libidos—I had one and he did not—any discussion of bedroom activities with my ex-boyfriend turned into a huge conflagration after which there would be too little make-up sex and too much sitting on the couch eating mini donuts.
CONTRITE: [kuh n-trahyt] (adj.)
1. caused by or showing sincere remorse
2. filled with a sense of guilt and the desire for atonement; penitent
AFTER I accidentally discovered his secret box of latex wear, fetish magazines, and oddly shaped silicone thingies, my ex-boyfriend (yes, the same one in the previous sentence) was rather contrite about concealing his sexual proclivities and made a show of throwing away his questionable periodicals. He also threw out the latex top, but only after establishing I could not squeeze into it.
CONUNDRUM: [kuh-nuhn-druh m] (n.)
1. a riddle whose answer is or involves a pun
2. an intricate or difficult problem
3. a question or problem having only a conjectural answer
FACED WITH the conundrum of explaining to our daughter exactly what mommy and daddy were doing in the living room at 2am with no clothes on, we made sure to be seen in the exact same position fully clothed and claimed to be stretching.
Now it’s YOUR TURN to create memorable sentences in the comments below. GO!